For the Love of Kraft Paper

I've always wanted to wrap gifts for the holidays in kraft paper. I think there's so many ways you can change it up, and it has a consistent, chic look while every gift still has an individualistic look. It's also great if you're looking for a greener, cheaper way to wrap gifts.

These are some ideas I liked and I would like to try this year. I will show you how it turns out--hopefully it goes well!

Here are some places you can find kraft paper:

• Amazon
• Uline (if you're looking for large rolls of it)
• Michael's
• Office Depot

All of the photos above were found on Pinterest! Check it out for more ideas. Happy wrapping! xoxo

So Cold

It's definitely getting quite cold out here in the northwest. I think it's supposed to snow soon, which would actually be quite nice! But as of now it is constantly raining and it's so frustrating to drive in. Have you ever tried driving in a river? That's what this feels like, and it's practically impossible in my sedan.

When it's cold, dark, and wet out I like to dress dark, too. It's kinda a nice excuse to wear dark things but it's nice. I have posted at the bottom where I bought what I'm wearing. I'm hoping everyone is having a fantastic and cozy winter break! Talk soon xoxo

light grey cardigan / Urban Outfitters
dark grey knit cropped top / Urban Outfitters
black BDG jeans / Urban Outfitters
black rainboots / J. Crew

just life

Lately I've been extraordinarily busy but, of course, in the midst of it all I would rather write than read about stinkin' accounting. Pshh.

Have you ever thought about your life and wondered if you're doing it right? Not that there's a wrong way by any means, but right in the fashion that you are doing what's right for you. I'm having the worst time contemplating my entire life and wondering how I've gotten to this point.

I've always loved writing. I write songs, music, stories, blogging of course...I just genuinely am passionate about writing. I also am a freak for fashion. Currently I'm studying Public Health and I have been wondering what has brought me to this. Why am I doing this? I also love this, but is this right for me?

These questions kill me. I have an early-twenties-midlife-crisis going on and I hate it. Take it from a delusional 20 year young gal--you can BE many things in life, you can live many places in life, and you can be in love more than once. Take time to do things you love and LIVE, don't merely survive. Life is too short (women live longer though, sorry guys) to be unhappy. What I'm saying is to not freak out in the moment when you wonder if you're doing it "right". If you go to college for one thing and end up doing something else that's alright. Be crazy but take care of yourself and the people around you.

I'm feeling better now that I have expressed that. What are your passions in life?

getting through that awkward length

I have found that many women dread the medium-length stage of growing their hair out, a.k.a. "the awkward length". Honestly, who can blame them? It's not short enough to style the way you used to and it's not the length to have a waterfall of a ponytail draping down your back. I love shorter, mid-length hair, and I can genuinely say that there are things to love about that "awkward" length! I am currently going through this and I want to help give you a new perspective:

1. Realize that what you have is what you have to work with.

So I know that you're craving that long luscious mane, however, it's important to realize that although you aren't at the length you want you are still able to do a lot with it. It's also important to note that you can try styles now that you normally wouldn't be able to try with long hair so take advantage of that! Down below I have some ideas for different styles for that medium-length.

2. What do you like about your hair?

Since this is your hair we are talking about you are going to be its biggest critic. Having that in mind, most people are not going to notice the little details you don't like about your hair. Focus on what you DO like...and accentuate those features. For example, I love the volume that having medium-length hair gives me, so to use this, I like wearing my hair in it's natural, wavy nature vs. straightening it because having the waves give it more volume.

3. Focus on the top of your head--not the bottom.

Your roots need love! This is the hair that is going to stick around for a while if you plan on growing it out. Due to that fact, it's crucial to give it the love and care it needs if you want it to look healthy when it's long. Be careful about colors you choose to dye it, how often you dye it, and even what kinds of shampoo and conditioner you're using. I like using a natural-based shampoo and I wash mine every three days, give or take. Your hair has natural oils in it which keep it looking shiny and healthy so make sure you're giving it time to take care of itself. I know it does depend on the type of hair you have when it comes to how often to wash it (some hair gets oily quicker than others). 

4. Snip snip!

It's true that getting your hair a trim every other month, at least, WILL encourage your hair to grow faster and will keep it looking and feeling healthy. Don't be scared about getting a trim--how I think of it is if I get it trimmed regularly then only a little bit of my ends need to be trimmed instead of letting it go for a while and having to cut three inches off. 

Photo above source: treasuresandtravelsblog.com

HOW TO STYLE IT - just some of my favorite ways 

Source: lovetaza.com
OMBRE
(this looks really good grown out, too)

Source: refinery29.com
STRAIGHT/SLIGHT WAVE

Source: laurenconrad.com
BUN

Source: awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com
HALF-ROLLED

Source: nursebuff.com
BOW-TIE BUN

Source: 1000drawings.tumblr.com
BRAIDS

I hope this helps those of you who aren't into your hair at the moment! Hang in there and make the most out of the present!

20

So yesterday I turned 20 years young...and what better time to post something like what I'm about to say than now!

This will all sound like it doesn't connect at first but hang in there with me.

#1. I have never understood how people are able to just "start up" a conversation with God and hear a response. I am a spiritual person, and although doing all the things a "Christian" would do would technically make me a "Christian" I'm still technically not one at all.

This is what I mean: Christianity is just a name. It's a title for a group of Jesus followers and the certain way that you go about practicing your beliefs. I think that I can call myself a Christian every day anytime to anyone and not pray nor give myself to God. I think that Christianity is a little overrated. I want you to just think about this for a second: I love God, I have a relationship with Him, but I wouldn't necessarily call myself just a "Christian". So what does that make me? Am I nothing if I'm not a Christian? That's all I've ever known to be. I think I can be many things. I want to understand other cultures, I want to listen to what Atheists say, I want to hear the stories of why people believe what they do and how they got there.

I'm not just that. I'm more than that. And I feel like calling ourselves Christian really puts up a barrier between "us" and "everyone else". I don't want that. I don't want to be in this secluded group where we are all called Christians...I want to be part of something where we can believe in many different things but we all believe and love our Father and Savior. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe because all I know is Christianity then that's all I can understand right now. But I want that to change.

So what I mean when I say I can't hear a response from God I really do mean that sincerely, as a spiritual entity, as a Christian or whatever I may be. I want you to understand that even though I am in touch with my spiritual life that doesn't mean that I am always able to hear, understand, or want to listen to God.

#2. I'm a planner. A hardcore, stick it to the planner and if you veer off you better prepare yourself for the rest of the day to be out of whack. It's unfortunate that I am that kind of person, however, I am actually working on that: which leads to my next point:

I have planned on moving to Portland for the past 6 years. I've had it ALL planned out: to what kind of loft I want, to what kind of job I'm going to get in order to pay my bills, and planned (how could I) on meeting the man I will marry when I became settled up there.

Even writing that makes me giggle a little bit because I know how ridiculous I sound. Why must I know how everything is going to be? And how could I have so much planned out? Where do any of the surprises fit in in that plan of mine? It's a fine dream, but it's not realistic, and if you are someone like me who plans every day, to every year, to the rest of your life...please save yourself the heartache of disappointment and take a deep breath. 95% of the time, as I've come to find out, my future as it comes at me is not at all what I planned nor expected, but you know what? It's better. And I really think we need to stop stressing over the small stuff...stop stressing over what you can't control because that's that--you can't control it.

Therefore, I've stopped planning so much. I can hardly figure out what classes I'm going to take but you know what, I like being that way. It makes me enjoy what I have right now instead of always looking so far ahead. I'm 20 once. I want to enjoy it and make the most out of it.

#3. One word: BALI!! Ever since I went to California for Winter Break, surfed for the first time, and enjoyed cool-sun for a change instead of blistering hotness, I've realized that I really want to take action and travel more places right now. I feel like a lot of people say this (and I'm guilty of it, too) but if you want to go somewhere then make it happen. So I've decided that I want to study abroad to Indonesia next year! I can take action now, I can start putting things in place now, and obviously start putting money aside right now. I'm really excited to see how this all works out if it's able to!

Alright, so those are my points and it's probably confusing to look at them and try to relate them together but they are all related. In short: I've been hearing God asking me to do a lot of things but I've turned them down because I've felt like my ideas were better, and how could I risk changing my plans for God? But I can, and I should, because He has the best plan for me of all. He's been asking me in ways like this: in my dreams, when I talk to people, when I'm reading something random or for class, when I'm watching a movie, etc. It's everywhere. He's always talking to me, and the ones that get to me the most are when there's a situation that I really don't want to go through but I know that I should. And when you come to terms with that it's amazing how much more you can hear Him and see His goodness and work, in you and in others. He's been bringing up leaving the country for a long time now and I know He is asking something of me. Going to Indonesia is a dream I've felt like I've had to put on hold until after I moved to Portland, until after this, until after that, but that's not His plan for me. It's okay to let change into your life. It's okay for things to change. It's scary and it feels heartbreaking, especially when I've put all this work into putting the puzzle pieces together, yet this plan is better for me. I'm enjoying the presence more, I'm listening to my Father more than ever, and I'm not so worried about letting go of old dreams and letting in new ones. I want that for you, too. I know it's hard but it pays off--whether you believe in Jesus or not.

In summary:

1.) Make short goals
2.) Be open-minded
3.) Embrace change
4.)Always listen
5.) Be positive

These are things that anyone--Atheists, Christians, and anyone else--can follow and take action in. So thank you for taking the time for me in your day, I hope I was able to shed a little bit of light on you.

short break

What I love most about having a blog is that it is always here, waiting for me to fill my words, thoughts, and pictures on it. I advice everyone--even people who don't like to write much--to have a blog or some kind of written outlet.

This is what's on my mind:

I cannot express how important it is to have time for yourself. I am a busy person--I am usually either doing homework, riding my bike, eating, or sleeping, and repeat. I have also been pretty hounded with music stuff, but it's interesting how many opportunities I've had where I could actually start a career in it. I think I'm just lazy. The effort is immense and all of my energy has been going into all these stupid science and business classes I'm currently taking. It's consuming me. It's frustrating. And I'm already tired Week 3.

So that's why even having this 30 minute break to melt into my couch and listen to Sleater Kinney...I'm so down. Sometimes, especially for college students, it's easy to wrap yourself in your schedule of endless work and homework (and I absolutely love being busy, don't get me wrong) but every day, even just 30 minutes to have to your name, just to sit or close your eyes and relax in yourself...we all need that. We really do. It's so much easier to get work done and do well at it when you are not hounding yourself 24.7. I think we forget that we need to check back in with ourselves every now and then.

I am so content right now. I've had a...well, quite frankly, I've had a shitty day. I am usually pretty good about letting go of negativity and having this little break in the middle of my day has honestly rejuvenated me.

And that's all I got for now. So take that with a grain of salt, I know we are all busy and I am thankful for those of you who take time to read my posts! I love it. :) Have a fantastic day, bros and sis', and don't forget to make time for you.

thoughts on my trip to brazil

I leave for Brazil in approximately 15 days, and I cannot tell whether I am more excited or if I am more nervous. I have been told by numerous people that Brazil is dangerous, blah blah blah, and I am going to one of the largest cities in Brazil, Porto Alegre, and more specifically, to Rio de Janeiro. I'm afraid to be stolen from, I'm afraid to communicate in Portuguese, I'm afraid to be stolen. I've looked forward to this moment all my life--to finally leave the country, but I fear that my worries are holding me back from any excitement for this trip, my first trip out of the U.S.

I think that is because, for the first time in my entire life, I don't know what to expect. Of course, you never can expect what can happen in the future, so that is always something that's on my mind, however, this is along the same lines.

I really have NO idea what to expect. It will be a whole new country, a whole new culture, a whole new world. I'm excited to see the people and I want to take a ton of pictures. I was told to be careful about cameras but I'll only bring my phone. I've actually been putting this whole thing in the back of my mind until now, now that it's becoming a reality for me, that I'm leaving so soon. I just want to be back already. I shouldn't say that. I guess I would be more excited if I were going with my family, or any family at all. But I'm going with my women's choir, and they're great, it's just that I feel that detachment from all of them. You know when you're (or imagine this) new to a school and you see every conversation and friendship from the outside but you can hardly fit into their clique? That's how I feel in choir. That's how I felt growing up in Chicago, that's how I felt growing up in Oregon City. I hate that feeling of not belonging, and I admit--that is the biggest reason why I'm not doing choir in the fall. It's amazing to me that something like that could keep me from doing something I absolutely love. Maybe my friends are what made choir so fun in high school. I'm not very good at exerting myself. I do have friends in my choir--don't get me wrong--it's just that, they would rather spend time with each other than with me, and I am an outcast.

You know, I never worried about this all school year, but I knew right away, when Tina said we were going to Brazil for our conference, I was stricken with the fear of being so alone in such a large city, where I know absolutely no one, can call no one, can barely speak clearly to anyone. I'm afraid that I will miss out on certain things or doing things I want to do because of having to stick around with girls because we have to, so we don't get taken advantage of. That irritates me so much. That's why I'm not excited to go. I would be independent if I could, but I can't be that way there, and I absolutely. Hate. That.

I hate it.

I love being independent and on my own. I love doing my own thing and inviting people into my life, I don't like having to wait around for people to have the same interests as me or compromise. I'm kind of babbling now, but I really had to get that off my chest.

Another thing that is pretty ridiculous is that I'm worried about looking like an American. I don't really feel proud to be American because I feel like many other countries view Americans as fat, lazy, and well, very lazy. I don't want to be seen that way, and honestly, I shouldn't try to fit in Brazil when I'm not from there. Yes, I am American. But no, I am not lazy, and I am not fat, and every single person in every single country is unique, and I don't believe in stereotyping. I think I need to keep reminding myself that my intentions are only to be who I am, and that not everybody cares about who I am or who I'm not. I can't stop people from judging me anyway, so I mind as well accept the fact that I should fully embrace my style and weirdness, even in another country, where they may be totally and utterly different than what I'm normally surrounded with.

But that's something that I am excited for.

The newness--the surprise of it. I love exploring, and I know that I should really take full advantage of this opportunity that I have been given. I truly am thankful for this.

Maybe I should research more into the Portuguese language and their culture over there in Brazil. Maybe that will help prepare me and I might feel a little less nerved for what's coming.